Vertical Paper Issues Statement on Behalf of the Majestic 12!
Currently third ranked player in the World (and local celebrity) Vertical Paper has issued the following statement regarding the World Championships in Toronto to take place on October 13th.
Greetings fellow Rock/Paper/Scissors enthusiasts, this is the Majestic 12’s “Vertical Paper”. As you know, I brought home the bronze medal last year at the World Rock/Paper/Scissors Championship. As many are aware, I credit this victory not to myself, but to the entire Majestic 12 family. Following our victory I traveled to Japan to train extensively in hopes of bringing home the gold medal at this year’s tournament. My training proved to be very beneficial, as I learned many new interesting strategies about the sport. Since my return I have been mentally preparing and studying new methods about each throw in preparation for the big night. Some have criticized me of falling under-the-radar in Philadelphia since my third place finish. For all of the nay-sayers, I must warn you: The Majestic 12 is stronger than ever. As far as I’m concerned we have more experience than most players that will be present this year. This experience includes American, Canadian, Australian and Japanese styles of play. My fellow team leaders The Fighting Mongooses, The Scissors Blizzard and I have been secretly scheming different strategies since my return. We plan on implementing these tactics full throttle in Toronto. I feel the Majestic 12 legacy has not been appreciated enough recently, possibly due to players like “The Grim Trigger”. If you must know, The Grim Trigger was merely decoy to take everyone’s attention off of the team while we performed our underground training and preparation. His poor play, over-the-top attitude, and ‘punch-style’ throws is certainly not what the Majestic 12 stands for. While I’m on the subject I would formally like to apologize to Philadelphia legend “Paper Tiger”. We are aware that The Grim Trigger has attempted to steal your style of play, and we hope this has not offended you in any way. We consider you one of the best players in the game and hold nothing but the utmost respect for you and your style. However, The Grim Trigger has unknowingly done his job in taking away the spotlight and pressure from the MJ12 during the past year. For this, I commend him. As of right now the Majestic 12 lineup for this year’s championship is myself, The Fighting Mongooses, and The Scissors Blizzard. We are currently unsure about what other MJ12 members we will be asking to join us, however we plan on having the final lineup announced by the time the Keystone Classic rolls around in October. Rumor has it Philadelphia RPS godfather (and our hero) C. Urbanus [emphasis added-ed.] might be sporting a Majestic 12 jersey this year, but we’ll just have to wait and see. I hope to see many Philadelphia players in Toronto this year. Best of strategy to everyone. Fear the Majestic 12.
- Vertical Paper (The Majestic 12)
dude. you weren’t supposed to let them know until after toronto, way to go. a whole season worth of douchechills for nothing.