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2010 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship Recap

It was a bit of a bumpy ride the week of the 2010 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship as far as Championship venues go, but the guys at Connie’s Ric Rac did the League right and everything was  ready to go by Championship Saturday (including new AC units!).

In addition to the fine folks at Connie’s Ric Rac, many thanks to our Title Sponsor, Pabst Blue Ribbon, as well as our Official Sponsors Jim Beam, Philadelphia Weekly and Oh My Dog Supplies.  It was also awesome of our refs at the Championship to volunteer for duty and for PJ Rhymeswithsausage to act as the official photographer.

The Neutral Finger, Sweetji & Dick Nasty - 2010 Perect Attendance, Spirit Award & Perfect Attendance

Von Damonator Honors America, Connies Ric Rac, C. Urbanus and RPS

This unusually cool Championship night started off with The Neutral Finger & Dick Nasty being presented their Perfect Attendance awards (the 1st time in league history any player made it to every tournament) for 2010 and Sweetji was awarded her 2010 Spirit Award (all pictured above).  Sweetji would have had perfect attendance, but she fell off a roof late in the season – even with the hospital stay and making-it-hard-to-walk broken bones and needing crutches she only missed three tournaments.  Now that’s some spirit!  Then Von Damonator (left) kicked off the competition with style by playing the Star Spangled Banner on the accordian. 

Players seeded 1-17 received a bye in the opening round.  As pointed out by noted historian J. Martin Hill, no player that received a bye in the opening round has ever won the PBRPRPSCLCS Title.  Could this trend continue for a 5th straight year?

Season seedings led to this All-Package Opener, a competitor matchup not seen since playing in a different league at a horrible venue in the winter of 2006. Zombie Llama won that match as well.

Player seedings made for some interesting matchups, such as five-year veterans El Toro Papaya and the Fighting Mongooses going against each other and teammates PJ Rhymeswithsausage going up against each other in the long-awaited all-Package opening match with Zombie Llama coming out on top. 

In other round 1 action, the Real Name Brigade lose all their players who didn’t get a bye (same for two-person Sh*tcaked Toiletbowl); the Majestic 12 move 3 of 4 on to the next round; all three current or former Team Captains that are now a part of the Dirty Cut Posse (Von Damonator, Le Tigre, J, Martin Hill) are knocked out; Blacksmith’s Apron goes 3 for 3;  and 2008 Champion Mr. Is sees her chances for 2 wins in 3 years go in the recycle bin.

Complete 1st Round scorecard:

  • #51 Billy Shears defeats #18 J. Martin Hill
  • #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #19 Von Damonator
  • #20 El Toro Papaya defeats #47 The Fighting Mongooses
  • #21 Joe McB defeats #46 Le Tigre
  • #44 Zombie Llama defeats #22 PJ Rhymeswithsausage
  • #23 Harper Lee defeats #43 Tommy
  • #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #25 That’s What She Said
  • #26 General Disarray defeats #41 I Am Not Afraid
  • #27 Mendouca defeats #40 Danny Awesome!
  • #28 Hand Turkey defeats #39 Schizofrenic C*ck Slapper
  • #29 Jazz Handz defeats #38 Donkey Show Deena
  • #30 Scissors Blizzard defeats #37 Smashley
  • #31 #3 defeats #36 Pamela
  • #35 Grim Trigger defeats #32 Ohne Brunen
  • #34 Panty Bandit defeats #33 2008 Champion Mr. Is

One year later and 2009 Champ Sexual Chutney still has Billy Shears number in the Round of 32.

The round of 32 means no more byes.  Things don’t go well for the top point scorers (all members of RPS Speedwagon) in 2010, as leader Sir Faust falls to his teammate Slanted Scissors and David Bowie’s Package members Zombie Llama and Baconshark defeat Dick Nasty and The Neutral Finger consecutively. 

Is this the last we'll see of The Majestic 12?

There were a couple rematches here from years past involving the Majestic 12.  Billy Shears came into 2009 as the #2 seed and got knocked off by #43 (and eventual Champ) Sexual Chutney in the round of 32.  This year the tables were turned as #51 Billy Shears had a chance to avenge his loss against the #1 seed.  Didn’t happen.  His teammate The Scissors Blizzard lost in the 2007 Championship Round of 32 to Frankie 13.  They met again this year in the round of 32, but three years later and it’s the same result.

The Round of 32 was not kind to The Badass Motherf*ckers, as they lost all but Sweetji in this round; Ziro of the Lone Wolves decided he should be ranked #9 instead of #10, jumped into that match and promptly lost to Jazz Handz; all members of RPS Speedwagon who didn’t score in the top 3 are all still alive; The Good the Bad and the Ugly suffer no losses; Blacksmith’s Apron, The Real Name Brigade, Monsters of Rock and Feed the Pony all have only one player remaining; Sh*tcaked Toiletbowl, The Majestic 12 and unaffiliated player Hand Turkey (perhaps the player most affected by Ziro’s gaffe) have all been eliminated.

Complete Round of 32 Scorecard:

  • #1 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney defeats #51 Billy Shears
  • #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #2 Sir Faust
  • #44 Zombie Llama defeats #3 Dick Nasty
  • #42 2007 Baconshark defeats #4 The Neutral Finger
  • #5 B-Pac defeats #35 Grim Trigger
  • #6 Sweetji defeats #34 Panty Bandit
  • #7 dOGulas defeats #31 #3
  • #8 Frankie 13 defeats #30 Scissors Blizzard
  • #29 Jazz Handz defeats #10 Ziro
  • #9 Paper Tiger defeats #28 Hand Turkey
  • #11 Silly Putty defeats #27 Mendouca
  • #26 General Disarray defeats #12 Rock Hard
  • #23 Harper Lee defeats #13 Swede-Heart
  • #14 Dr. Hambone defeats #21 Joe McB
  • #20 El Toro Papaya Defeats #15 Enrico Pallatzo
  • #16 Bill defeats #17 Tina the Boy

#23 Harper Lee upsets #9 Paper Tiger. That's just how the Final 16 went.

UPSET CITY!  In the Final 16 not one of the higher seeds win.  That’s nuts.

Complete Round of 16 Scorecard:

  • #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #1 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney
  • #44 Zombie Llama defeats #5 B-Pac
  • #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #6 Sweetji
  • #29 Jazz Handz defeats #7 dOGulas
  • #26 General Disarray defeats #8 Frankie 13
  • #23 Harper Lee defeats #9 Paper Tiger
  • #20 El Toro Papaya defeats #11 Silly Putty
  • #16 Bill defeats #14 Dr. Hambone

For the 2nd year in a row, pretzel loving Zombie Llama defeats El Toro Papaya in the Final 8.

Well, the Final 8 didn’t have 100% upsets like the Final 16 (just 75% upsets this time).  El Toro Papaya and Zombie Llama met up in the Final 8 for the 2nd year running and for the 2nd year running El Toro Papaya did not appear in the Final 4; Slanted Scissors has her run of taking down the remaining top seeds end at the hands of Bill from The Real Name Brigade; 2007 Champ Baconshark gets the closest to a two-time Champ anyone has since Johnny Goodtimes made the Final 4 in 2007 after defeating Harper Lee; and Jazz Handz is now the last hope for RPS Speedwagon at a title after she ends the dream of General Disarray and Blacksmith’s Apron.

Complete Final 8 Scorecard:

  • #16 Bill defeats #48 Slanted Scissors
  • #44 Zombie Llama defeats #20 El Toro Papaya
  • #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #23 Harper Lee
  • #29 Jazz Handz defeats #26 General Disarray

Baconshark defeats Jazz Hands advance to the first All-Package Final ever in League history.

Team David Bowie’s Package has been playing since the very first City League tournament in April of 2006 (and before that at the 2005 PBR RPS Keystone Classic).  All they’ve ever talked about was an All-Package Final.  Well, here it is 5 years and 173 tournaments later but it finally happened.  In the Final 4 Zombie Llama (who lost in the Final 4 in 2009) took out Bill and Baconshark made quick work of Jazz Handz. 

 Final 4 Results:

  • #44 Zombie Llama defeats #16 Bill
  • #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #29 Jazz Handz

Bill claims 3rd Place in the name of The Real Name Brigade.

Before the Finals and the crowning of the Champion could happen, there were a few things to take care of. 

Well, this is a surprise. B-Pac wins the Street RPS competition (and the 50/50 for the 2nd consecutive year).

  • Bill from the Real Name Brigade defeated Jazz Handz to claim the 3rd Place prize, guaranteeing there would be no ladies in the championship top prize photos.
  • The Street Money had to be collected and counted.  This took a while, but the result was a familiar one.  B-Pac won it by a score of 259-232 over Dick Nasty.  Swede-Heart was a distant 3rd with 71.
  • The 50/50 had winner had to be determined.  And B-Pac won that, too.  And it was the 2nd year in a row he won it.  At least it doesn’t seem as fixed as the year Zombie Llama administered and won it. 

So it was time to decide who the 2010 Champ would be.  Would Baconshark be the 1st repeat Champion in PBRPRPSCLCS history or would Zombie Llama claim the top prize for the first time in his career? 

Package on Package Papers in the Championship match

Things started out not-so-great for Zombie Llama, as Baconshark won the first two matches pretty easy (except for the test of wills that involved 8 straight throws of Rock on each side).  But to Zombie Llama’s credit, he could taste that Championship like it was a soft pretzel and then improbably came back to even it up at two matches to two matches.  At a fifth and final set Baconshark ran away with it, winning that set 2 throws to 0, claiming the 2nd PBRPRPSCLCS Title of his career and making it 3 PBRPRPSCLCS Championships in 5 tries for Team David Bowie’s Package (which would have happened no matter who won the final match)!

David Bowie's Package Rules for the third time in five years.

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