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Commissioner Urbanus Kicks Off the 2012 Season Properly at the El Bar!

The 2012 PBRPRPSCLCS kicked off at the El Bar and it did not disappoint!

Most of the big news, as it usually is early in the season, had to do with team comings and goings.  Since B-Pac has moved to the RPS-challenged hills of Eastern upstate NY, RPS Speedwagon is now B-Pac Presents RPS Speedwagon (a better acronym anyway).  Also, the Blackout Motherf*ckers have been recruiting like, well, motherf*ckers.  They had almost 1/4 of the competitor field representing their team. They even picked up some coveted free agent players, including Frankie 13 and 2011 Rookie of the Year Dr. Dre.  Oh, and Loomer is back from Japan.

But back to the action, the tournament was “at capacity” according to ref Von Damonator.  Part of this capacity crowd was PBRPRPSCLCS Commissioner (and 2011 PBRPRPSCLCS Lifetime Achievement award winner) C. Urbanus, who despite a strong bout of contemplated laziness earlier in the day, did show up to kick off the 2012 season of the league he runs.  So the Commish (and 2012 inductee into the Norwegian RPS International Hall of Fame) went to work.  After imparting a good deal of RPS knowledge on some already fine players (Jake Falkenberg, Hambone, Dick Nasty, Dr. Dre) it was on to the finals against old friend of the PBRPRPSCLCS Pete the Beat.

Now prior to the tournament, Pete the Beat had been talking to the Commish (and 2010 Toronto RPS Invitational Champion) and he gave life to such phrases as “well if we meet in the first round that will be an easy win for me” and “my strategy is obviously superior to yours”.  If superior strategy means almost coming from behind to win on the last throw of set five in the Championship match, then technically Pete the Beat was correct.  Anyway, C. Urbanus (winner of the 2010 Wojek Smallsoa Prize for Outstanding Contributions in the Art of Rock Paper Scissors) won the tournament in a thrilling final match.

But C. Urbanus (winner of the 2002 Think Three Most Outstanding Scissors award) wasn’t quite done yet!  He also was doing very well on the street.  Thanks to a few substantial wins against Dr. Hambone, it ended up being a full-on Hustler-style match stack for stack against Panty Bandit (who also made it to the final four).  The Commish (who once defeated the Hustlers’ own Taxman at his own game 10-0 at the World Champs) took that stack for stack match and ended up with a total of 282.  2011 PBRPRPSCLCS Champ Paper Tiger came in 2nd with 12.

4 Responsesto “Commissioner Urbanus Kicks Off the 2012 Season Properly at the El Bar!”

  1. rhymeswithsausage says:

    you done good, kid.

  2. le_tigre says:

    I am thoroughly sad I missed this one

  3. urbanus says:

    Don’t worry, Le Tigre. It’s not all that uncommon for me to dominate RPS competitions.

  4. mr. is says:

    I must concur with Snausages.

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