It was a bit of a bumpy ride the week of the 2010 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship as far as Championship venues go, but the guys at Connie’s Ric Rac did the League right and everything was  ready to go by Championship Saturday (including new AC units!).

The Neutral Finger, Sweetji & Dick Nasty - 2010 Perect Attendance, Spirit Award & Perfect Attendance

Von Damonator Honors America, Connies Ric Rac, C. Urbanus and RPS

This unusually cool Championship night started off with The Neutral Finger & Dick Nasty being presented their Perfect Attendance awards (the 1st time in league history any player made it to every tournament) for 2010 and Sweetji was awarded her 2010 Spirit Award (all pictured above).  Sweetji would have had perfect attendance, but she fell off a roof late in the season – even with the hospital stay and making-it-hard-to-walk broken bones and needing crutches she only missed three tournaments.  Now that’s some spirit!  Then Von Damonator (left) kicked off the competition with style by playing the Star Spangled Banner on the accordian. 

Players seeded 1-17 received a bye in the opening round.  As pointed out by noted historian J. Martin Hill, no player that received a bye in the opening round has ever won the PBRPRPSCLCS Title.  Could this trend continue for a 5th straight year?

Season seedings led to this All-Package Opener, a competitor matchup not seen since playing in a different league at a horrible venue in the winter of 2006. Zombie Llama won that match as well.

Player seedings made for some interesting matchups, such as five-year veterans El Toro Papaya and the Fighting Mongooses going against each other and teammates PJ Rhymeswithsausage going up against each other in the long-awaited all-Package opening match with Zombie Llama coming out on top. 

In other round 1 action, the Real Name Brigade lose all their players who didn’t get a bye (same for two-person Sh*tcaked Toiletbowl); the Majestic 12 move 3 of 4 on to the next round; all three current or former Team Captains that are now a part of the Dirty Cut Posse (Von Damonator, Le Tigre, J, Martin Hill) are knocked out; Blacksmith’s Apron goes 3 for 3;  and 2008 Champion Mr. Is sees her chances for 2 wins in 3 years go in the recycle bin.

Complete 1st Round scorecard:

• #51 Billy Shears defeats #18 J. Martin Hill
• #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #19 Von Damonator
• #20 El Toro Papaya defeats #47 The Fighting Mongooses
• #21 Joe McB defeats #46 Le Tigre
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #22 PJ Rhymeswithsausage
• #23 Harper Lee defeats #43 Tommy
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #25 That’s What She Said
• #26 General Disarray defeats #41 I Am Not Afraid
• #27 Mendouca defeats #40 Danny Awesome!
• #28 Hand Turkey defeats #39 Schizofrenic C*ck Slapper
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #38 Donkey Show Deena
• #30 Scissors Blizzard defeats #37 Smashley
• #31 #3 defeats #36 Pamela
• #35 Grim Trigger defeats #32 Ohne Brunen
• #34 Panty Bandit defeats #33 2008 Champion Mr. Is

One year later and 2009 Champ Sexual Chutney still has Billy Shears number in the Round of 32.

The round of 32 means no more byes.  Things don’t go well for the top point scorers (all members of RPS Speedwagon) in 2010, as leader Sir Faust falls to his teammate Slanted Scissors and David Bowie’s Package members Zombie Llama and Baconshark defeat Dick Nasty and The Neutral Finger consecutively. 

Is this the last we'll see of The Majestic 12?

There were a couple rematches here from years past involving the Majestic 12.  Billy Shears came into 2009 as the #2 seed and got knocked off by #43 (and eventual Champ) Sexual Chutney in the round of 32.  This year the tables were turned as #51 Billy Shears had a chance to avenge his loss against the #1 seed.  Didn’t happen.  His teammate The Scissors Blizzard lost in the 2007 Championship Round of 32 to Frankie 13.  They met again this year in the round of 32, but three years later and it’s the same result.

The Round of 32 was not kind to The Badass Motherf*ckers, as they lost all but Sweetji in this round; Ziro of the Lone Wolves decided he should be ranked #9 instead of #10, jumped into that match and promptly lost to Jazz Handz; all members of RPS Speedwagon who didn’t score in the top 3 are all still alive; The Good the Bad and the Ugly suffer no losses; Blacksmith’s Apron, The Real Name Brigade, Monsters of Rock and Feed the Pony all have only one player remaining; Sh*tcaked Toiletbowl, The Majestic 12 and unaffiliated player Hand Turkey (perhaps the player most affected by Ziro’s gaffe) have all been eliminated.

Complete Round of 32 Scorecard:

• #1 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney defeats #51 Billy Shears
• #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #2 Sir Faust
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #3 Dick Nasty
• #42 2007 Baconshark defeats #4 The Neutral Finger
• #5 B-Pac defeats #35 Grim Trigger
• #6 Sweetji defeats #34 Panty Bandit
• #7 dOGulas defeats #31 #3
• #8 Frankie 13 defeats #30 Scissors Blizzard
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #10 Ziro
• #9 Paper Tiger defeats #28 Hand Turkey
• #11 Silly Putty defeats #27 Mendouca
• #26 General Disarray defeats #12 Rock Hard
• #23 Harper Lee defeats #13 Swede-Heart
• #14 Dr. Hambone defeats #21 Joe McB
• #20 El Toro Papaya Defeats #15 Enrico Pallatzo
• #16 Bill defeats #17 Tina the Boy

#23 Harper Lee upsets #9 Paper Tiger. That's just how the Final 16 went.

UPSET CITY!  In the Final 16 not one of the higher seeds win.  That’s nuts.

Complete Round of 16 Scorecard:

• #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #1 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #5 B-Pac
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #6 Sweetji
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #7 dOGulas
• #26 General Disarray defeats #8 Frankie 13
• #23 Harper Lee defeats #9 Paper Tiger
• #20 El Toro Papaya defeats #11 Silly Putty
• #16 Bill defeats #14 Dr. Hambone

For the 2nd year in a row, pretzel loving Zombie Llama defeats El Toro Papaya in the Final 8.

Well, the Final 8 didn’t have 100% upsets like the Final 16 (just 75% upsets this time).  El Toro Papaya and Zombie Llama met up in the Final 8 for the 2nd year running and for the 2nd year running El Toro Papaya did not appear in the Final 4; Slanted Scissors has her run of taking down the remaining top seeds end at the hands of Bill from The Real Name Brigade; 2007 Champ Baconshark gets the closest to a two-time Champ anyone has since Johnny Goodtimes made the Final 4 in 2007 after defeating Harper Lee; and Jazz Handz is now the last hope for RPS Speedwagon at a title after she ends the dream of General Disarray and Blacksmith’s Apron.

Complete Final 8 Scorecard:

• #16 Bill defeats #48 Slanted Scissors
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #20 El Toro Papaya
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #23 Harper Lee
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #26 General Disarray

Baconshark defeats Jazz Hands advance to the first All-Package Final ever in League history.

Team David Bowie’s Package has been playing since the very first City League tournament in April of 2006 (and before that at the 2005 PBR RPS Keystone Classic).  All they’ve ever talked about was an All-Package Final.  Well, here it is 5 years and 173 tournaments later but it finally happened.  In the Final 4 Zombie Llama (who lost in the Final 4 in 2009) took out Bill and Baconshark made quick work of Jazz Handz. 

 Final 4 Results:

• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #16 Bill
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #29 Jazz Handz

Bill claims 3rd Place in the name of The Real Name Brigade.

Before the Finals and the crowning of the Champion could happen, there were a few things to take care of. 

Well, this is a surprise. B-Pac wins the Street RPS competition (and the 50/50 for the 2nd consecutive year).

• Bill from the Real Name Brigade defeated Jazz Handz to claim the 3rd Place prize, guaranteeing there would be no ladies in the championship top prize photos.
• The Street Money had to be collected and counted.  This took a while, but the result was a familiar one.  B-Pac won it by a score of 259-232 over Dick Nasty.  Swede-Heart was a distant 3rd with 71.
• The 50/50 had winner had to be determined.  And B-Pac won that, too.  And it was the 2nd year in a row he won it.  At least it doesn’t seem as fixed as the year Zombie Llama administered and won it. 

So it was time to decide who the 2010 Champ would be.  Would Baconshark be the 1st repeat Champion in PBRPRPSCLCS history or would Zombie Llama claim the top prize for the first time in his career? 

Package on Package Papers in the Championship match

Things started out not-so-great for Zombie Llama, as Baconshark won the first two matches pretty easy (except for the test of wills that involved 8 straight throws of Rock on each side).  But to Zombie Llama’s credit, he could taste that Championship like it was a soft pretzel and then improbably came back to even it up at two matches to two matches.  At a fifth and final set Baconshark ran away with it, winning that set 2 throws to 0, claiming the 2nd PBRPRPSCLCS Title of his career and making it 3 PBRPRPSCLCS Championships in 5 tries for Team David Bowie’s Package (which would have happened no matter who won the final match)!

David Bowie's Package Rules for the third time in five years.

PJ Rhymeswithsausage took a ton of pictures at the 2009 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championships back in June.  You can check them out here if you like.

And now that it’s been almost two months since the Championships, it’s almost time to write up the event for the site. 

In the meantime, here’s a look of the impressive list of players that 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney had to defeat on her way to the title in the order played: Ziro (David Bowie’s Package), Billy Shears (MJ 12), 2008 PBRPRPSCLCS Champion Mr. Is (David Bowie’s Package), Paper Tiger , Silly Putty, and finally the Championship match over Crimson Destroyer.

She defeated the Crimson Destroyer 3 matches to 2 in an epic final.  The Foes of Strawbanus claim their 1st Philadelphia title!

Full update will be posted by mid-week.  I’m going to take a few days off.

Update – Standings are updated.  E-mails were sent.  If you didn’t get one, it doesn’t mean you didn’t qualify but that your e-mail address is not on file at City League HQ.  Also please note that even if you did finish in the top 64, if you did not attend the minimum of 3 tournaments you are not eligible to compete at the Championship.

So here’s the deal:

The 2009 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship is this Saturday, June 13th.  It’s at Connie’s Ric Rac (1132 S. 9th – between Washington and Ellsworth).

Anyone who played this season (even those who do not qualify for the Championship) can get in for $10.  That’s $10 for unlimited Pabst Blue Ribbon, Jim Beam and various snacks including some food generously donated by Whole Foods Market (while it lasts).  Anyone who did not play this season and is coming to the Championship it’s $20 to get in for the same thing – plus even if you’re playing or don’t play you still get Street bucks and are eligible for that prize ($100) at the end of the night.  Reminder – just because the drinks are all included in your entry fee does not mean you should not tip the guys giving them to you.

We all know the winner gets $1000 and the runner-up gets $250.  There will be a 3rd place prize this year (shameful, shameful bronze) and that pays out $50.  As mentioned previously, the Street RPS winner gets $100 as well.  Unlike regular season tournaments there is no special to get more Street, because there are no specials to buy.

We’re going to open the doors at 7 PM.  Competition is going to start around 8-8:15.  You must be on-site by 7:50, because the original brackets take a bit of time to account for who is there and who is not and once those are set they are not being undone.  So there must be a firm headcount by 7:50.There will be two special guest refs on-hand to assist in the first two rounds.  They are well trained and what they say is final.  This is a Championship and things like irregular primes will by no means be tolerated.

The standings will be updated either very late tonight or tomorrow.  In addition to that, e-mail invitations containing the same info I’ve just posted here will be sent to qualifiers most likely tonight after the final tournament at the Dive – If I don’t have your e-mail get it over to me.

And I didn’t think I’d have to say this but after last year it needs to be said: Do not steal anything from Connie’s Ric Rac.

The 2008 Championship was the hottest day yet in the history of the City League (literally).  But thanks to Connie’s Ric Rac for hosting the Championship and thanks to Pabst Blue Ribbon for not only supporting the City League as Title Sponsor once again, but also supplying a good amount of the beer that kept everybody as cool as could be.

Here’s a brief recap of the 2008 Championship:

The Majestic 12 came in with about 11 players who have some sort of affiliation.  David Bowie’s Package were in full force, as was the Paper Cut Posse.  The Foes of Strawbanus (who put 3 in the top 8 last year) were a little fewer in force than usual and the Dirty Dozen fielded but two of their group.  Noticably absent from competition was 2007 total points leader El Toro Papaya of team Feed the Pony.  The seedings worked out in a strange way, so that there was only one match between teammates (Uncle Mikey Vs. Fists of Iron in the Round of 32).

The Majestic 12 lost 5 of their 11 affiliates in the opening round (Including official and founding member the Scissors Blizzard - eliminated by Harper Lee above), not a good sign of things to come for the team that swept the season prizes this year.

The round of 32 saw some intriguing matchups, as good veteran players who had been ranked higher in previous seasons were lower in the rankings this year.  This led to a matchup of Master Fister Vs. 2007 Champ Baconshark in the 2nd round.  Master Fister was actually seeded higher than the reigning Champ last year and showed why as he knocked out the Baconshark (above) to end his dream of 2 consecutive Championships.  The round of 32 also saw 2007 runner-up Mr. Strawberry eliminated as well as 2 more of the Majestic 12’s group.  The Paper Cut Posse lose 2 this round, and Team David Bowie’s package lose 3.  Frankie 13 was beaten by Rock Doctor, marking the 1st time he hasn’t lost to the eventual Champion in the final 8.  Full round of 32 rundown:

#55 Master Fister defeats #1 Baconshark

#2 Loomer defeats #50 Sean G

#3 PJ Rhymeswithsausage defeats #46 Mets

#4 Paper Tiger defeats #40 Harper Lee

#37 The Droog defeats #5 The Fighting Mongooses

#6 Le Tigre defeats #33 Jake Falkenburg

#32 3 Finger Bill defeats #7 Zombie Llama

#8 Billy Shearz defeats #30 Sister Kathleen

#9 Grim Trigger defeats #28 Posthumyn

#27 Mr. Is defeats #10 J. Martin Hill

#11 Hulk Hoagie defeats #26 Dance Rock Saskatchewan

#25 Rock Doctor defeats #13 Frankie 13

#14 Danny Awesome defeats #24 Tits McGee

#23 Get Your Rocks Off defeats #15 Gizmo

#22 Fist of Iron defeats #16 Uncle Mikey

#17 Von Damonator defeats #19 Mr. Strawberry

In the final 16 there were several upsets, a trend that would continue the rest of the evening.  Of the 8 matches played, only 2 were won by the higher seeded player (Loomer and Billy Shearz – all that remain of MJ-12 and company).  Even Hulk Hoagie lost, despite the loudest Hoagie chant on record (above).  2 Paper Cuts remain in the Final 8, but to the surprise of many they are not Le Tigre and Gizmo, but The Droog and Fists of Iron.  Both of the Dirty Dozen on hand advance as 3 finger Bill defeats the Paper Tiger in a thriller and Von Damontaor eliminates the last Foe of Strawbanus Danny Awesome.  The hopes of a 2nd straight Championship for David Bowie’s Package rest with Mr. Is.  Full final 16 roundup:

#2 Loomer defeats #55 Master Fister

#37 The Droog defeats #3 PJ Rhymeswithsausage

#32 3 Finger Bill defeats #4 Paper Tiger

#27 Mr. Is defeats #6 Le Tigre

#8 Billy Shearz defeats #25 Rock Doctor

#23 Get Your Rocks Off defeats #9 Grim Trigger

#22 Fist of Iron defeats #11 Hulk Hoagie

#17 Von Damonator defeats #14 Danny Awesome

In the final 8 the only higher seed to advance is 2008 season point leader Loomer of the Majestic 12 (above).  Billy Shearz has his bid for a 2nd consecutive Championship Final 4 appearance denied by 3 Finger Bill, who loses his teammate Von Damonator by virtue of a loss to Mr. Is.  Unaffiliated player Get Your Rocks Off knocks out Fists of Iron and the Paper Cut Posse has their 2008 season come to a close without a Championship title.  Scorecard:

#2 Loomer defeats #37 The Droog

#32 3 Finger Bill defeats #8 Billy Shearz

#27 Mr. Is defeats #17 Von Damonator

#23 Get Your Rocks Off defeats #22 Fist of Iron

In the Final 4 the upsets continue and neither of the higher seeds advance to the Championship match.  Season point leader Loomer is taken out by 3 Finger Bill and Get Your Rocks Off is defeated by Mr. Is.  This makes it a Dirty Dozen Vs. David Bowie’s Package showdown for the 2008 Championship.

In the Championship round the 1st match went quickly to Mr. Is and it appeared that the title would remain with David Bowie’s Package for another year.

Bill quickly took the next two sets and then the first throw in set 4, putting him at Championship point.  After one of many time outs called by 3 Finger Bill on the night (below), Mr. Is took two straight throws to tie everything up at 2 matches each.  Could Mr. Is snatch victory from the jaws of defeat?  Would 3 Finger Bill snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?

In the final match Mr. Is took the first point.  3 Finger Bill answered right back, putting both competitors one throw away from their first City League Championship title.  The next throw was a tie and the pressure continued to mount.  Then Mr. Is’ Paper covered up 3 Fingered Bill’s Rock and the comeback was complete.  Mr. Is was lifted to the heavens (or as far as Connie’s Ric Rac allows) by her teammates as the 2008 PBRPRPSCLCS Champion, the 2nd consecutive championship for team David Bowie’s Package.  Even the Majestic 12 (below) celebrated this well earned victory.

Team David Bowie’s Package (above) had even more reason to celebrate, as PJ Rhymeswithsausage won the Street RPS prize as well as the non-existant prize of best facial hair in the league, defeating the Fighting Mongooses of the Majestic 12 in both by a score of somewhere in the area of 217-184 and a kick ass beard to a pretty good beard.  David Bowie’s Package rules!

This marks the 2nd year in a row that Team David Bowie’s Package has won a City League title, with Mr. Is following the lead of her teammate 2007 PBRPRPSCLS Champion Baconshark. This Championship was a clean sweep for the package, as Mr. Is won the title, PJ Rhymeswithsausage won the Street prize, and Zombie Llama won the 50-50 raffle.
Full update coming tomorrow probably Monday night.

It seems that, once again, Team David Bowie’s Package rules!

Dear Philadelphia RPS Professional:

Congratulations on the completion of a season well played (most of you).  This Saturday will be the 2008 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship.  By virtue of your strong play throughout the season, you are invited to compete for the title and $1000 grand prize.  Please reply to urbanus(at)rpscityleague(dot)com indicating if you plan to accept this invitation.

Details are as follows:

The Championship will be at Connie’s Ric Rac located at 1132 South 9th (between Washington and Ellsworth).  Connie’s does not have a liquor license, so there will be a $10 entry fee, but this entry fee includes an open bar serving Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jim Beam throughout the night.  Make sure you bring your ID.  If you do not you will not be allowed to enter the building.

Registration will begin at 7:30 PM.  PBRPRPSCLCS officials will be on-site as early as 7 PM if you would like to arrive pre-registration.  Registration closes at 8:15 and competition for the title will begin at approximately 8:30.  If you arrive later than 8:30 you will not be eligible to compete.

In the event there are byes in the first round, they will be awarded based on season point totals.  Players with better “Power Rankings” (i.e. same points in fewer events) are seeded above those with the same amount of points.

The grand prize is $1000.  The runner-up will take home $250.  There will also be a street RPS prize of $100.

Spectators are allowed, but as there is limited space as well as limited booze, please don’t go crazy inviting others to attend.  Any spectators will be eligible to compete for the Street RPS prize.  Street RPS will function the same as it does during in-season events.

Thanks to you all for a memorable season, and I look forward to seeing you Saturday and the crowning of the 2008 City League Champion.

C. Urbanus

Congratulations to Loomer, who won both Rookie of the Year and Total Points and Billy Shearz who won the season street prize. The Majestic 12 won the team prize, making it a clean sweep for MJ-12 on the end of season prizes.