Anyway, Dr. Dre won in the finals against Dirty Dozen coach Von Damonator.  VD has, of course, played in almost every Rock Paper Scissors Tournament at Dirty Franks since 2007 and had yet to win one on his home turf.  But it wasn’t to be as a “heartbroken” Von Damonator threw a Scissor that he claimed later he knew not to throw but couldn’t help himself.

After her victory, Dr. Dre quickly answered some questions while the whole neighborhood watched about cabby, TV’s & sh*t, that box in your room En Vogue, and a variety of other subjects from RPS beat reporters Duck Mouth and Bootney Lee Farnsworth.  Post-interview she received her prize – a $20 gift certificate to  The Compton Swap Meet Dirty Franks!

And it seems that RPS wonders will never cease!  Paper Tiger came up on loot and broke an almost full 6 season Street RPS cold Street and won that for the first time ever.  He racked up a mighty $181, which defeated The One Armed Scissor by a little over 100.  This initial win comes at a good time for the Paper Tiger as he still trails Dick Nasty in total points by 14 with two games to go.  In a week that isn’t typically kind to Paper Tiger (11, 24, 6, 6, 16 points the last five double points weeks) he’s placed 2nd and won street so far to give himself a chance.

Most (I said most – don’t yell at me) of the top scorers on the season were eliminated in round one to the noobies and that was a trend that would continue all night, right up until the finals between the aptly nicknamed George and Gabe.  They were, if not teammates, then at least part of some loose confederation of one-named people.  They weren’t the Real Name Brigade unless they sign up Bill, Pamela or Tommy, so stop saying that.  Anyway, the final match was a blowout and Gabe took it without much of a problem by a count of 3-0.  Also of note, I believe Gabe got Dick Nasty with his own psyche-out handshake after he beat him and Dick Nasty never saw it coming.

Phantom Fonzie’s Fanta Fountain had the most letters and syllables in his name and at the end of the night also had the most Street RPS money in his pocket by, like, a lot.  he won with a total of 230 fake bills which is a good good night on the street.  Phantom Fonzie’s Fanta Fountain then donned the mask you see in the picture, but I don’t think anyone would reconize him anyway (Hand Turkey can’t even figure it out!).  I’ve never seen the guy play before.

Some of the money had a little accident and was taken out of circulation, but that’s just what happens sometimes with Street RPS.

But it wasn’t all heartbreaking losses for Mr. Nasty on the night.  If he had won against Frankie13 in the final round he actually would have swept the top prizes on the night since he won Street RPS again like he almost always does.  In fact, he already set a record for money turned in for the season and there’s still 2 1/2 weeks left.

Dick Nasty also has a pretty good lead in total points, but anything could happen if there’s some strange sort of point modification system in play the last week of the season.  Not saying there’s going to be, but as someone important once said to me in an e-mail: “anything can happen!”

But these are different times and Sister Kathleen has teamed up with Paper Tiger and the Good the Bad and the Ugly this season.  And so far it’s working out pretty well!  She rolled up to Dirty Franks last night and made it to the finals against Blackout MoFo Jayne Doe.  It wasn’t a terribly exciting final match ( I mean they’re all exciting, but…), and Sister Kathleen won by a score of 3 matches to 1.  It was her first tournament victory since a terribly, terribly crowded off-season event at the Dive that drew more players than the Championship that year did.  And no one even drank too much wine and fell asleep locked in the bathroom on their birthday this time (I won’t name names)!

And the Street RPS match was pretty exciting!  Sir Faust and Frankie13 decided to play for it Minneapolis Roshambo Hustler style.  Sir Faust would have won if he hadn’t agreed to play for it and he still won anyway.  He beat Frankie13 by a score of 8-2.  The top three were close on the night as Sir Faust-Frankie13-One Armed Scissor came in at 67-60-58.

Panty Bandit still did pretty good – just like the rest of her team.  With the Exception of Silly Putty, the night was dominated by the Blackout Motherf*ckers.  They sent all five players on to round two and then sent all those same players on to round 3 (and the only reason they lost one in round 3 was because they had to play each other).

The Blackouts may not have promised to be the winningest team this season, but they did promise to be the drunkest team this season.  They may very well get a trophy for this feat if the great judger of who is the drunkest team decides they live up to the hype from here on out.  But they’ll really have to go above and beyond to impress in this matter.

Yup, Dick Nasty won Street again.  Look at how bored he is of winning this all the time.

The Blackouts did call him a something that rhymes with shussy for playing it safe when he knew he was in the lead.  But sometimes you just have to know when to hold ‘em (street bucks, that is).

And what a payback it was!  Silly Putty embarrassed Paper Tiger in the finals, not giving up a single point on her way to a 3-0 victory.  It was the first time in PBRPRPSCLCS history that the runner-up didn’t even get on the board.  Paper Tiger set a record!

In other news, David Bowie’s Package seems to be increasing in size as they fielded a  total of 7 players last night, while word on the street is that we may even see the return of The Paper Cut Posse at Dirty Franks next week.  Crowd favorite Jerry Garcia was being heavily recruited after defeating Ziro in round 1 and expects to be a heavy hitter at Franks for whichever team gets him to sign.  Stay tuned!

Dick Nasty won street RPS again last night which is really no surprise at this point.  He came in with 66 and the next closest was PJ Rhymeswithsausage with 50 non-counterfeit dollars.  RPS Speedwagon has not won the Street RPS prize only once so far this year (and Dick Nasty was only $2 off that time).  Good thing, because those street points are keeping them in the lead for team points so far.

Just because the finalos were a blowout doesn’t mean there was no RPS excitement last night.  The good times kept rolling for the Package as dOGulas (who rejoined this season) won the Street RPS tournament by a two-Paper thin margin of 72-20.  It was the first time dOGulas won street since, um, I think this is the first time.  Good job, dOGulas.

Also of note at Dirty Franks: A Strawberry sighting!  Excitement!

One of their new players is Dark Horse Ned (on left, with “manager” Manager Albert) and he was a pretty good pickup!  He took the 1st tournament of the year at Franks after an epic come from behind victory over the Paper Tiger in the finals after the Paper Tiger had him in his paper-loving claws down two matches to one and one throw to zero.  That makes it two nights out of two that the Championship match came down to the last throw (exciting!) and a member of the Good the Bad and the Ugly lost.

Dick Nasty (you may remember him from such films as “I was 2010 PBRPRPSCLCS Rookie of the Year” and “Calling All Quakers”) mentioned that he kind of maybe wants to sweep the Street RPS titles in week one and the good news for him is that he’s halfway there! Unlike how it went down earlier in the season, there was no big dramatic final match.  He just had more than everyone else.

And it looks like Frankie13 has done a good job recruiting this year.  His new team “the Axis of Awesome” had a lot of players last night.

Perhaps not uncoincidentally, Stevie One-Der is a journalist during non-rps hours and had interviewed the PBRPRPSCLCS commissioner about RPS strategy just a few days before.  And with this guidance fresh in his mind and his notebook he immediately won a tournament.  Makes you think, right?

Silly Putty still had the chance to win something at Dirty Franks, as she was also required to play Dick Nasty for the Street Rock Paper Scissors Championship on the night after a very questionable delay in turning in her winnings.  But it just wasn’t her night as Mr. Nasty (at left, surrounded mostly by people who are not on his team) took her down in what is believed to have been a full-on Hustler Style match to claim street RPS victory.  Said a deflated Silly Putty after the match, in the direction of no one, “now I feel like a real Mr. Strawberry”.

The opening reception is tonight from 7-10, so stop by and check it out.  You may see a few familiar faces there (all the PBRPRPSCLCS regular season refs will be on hand at some point) and some pretty good art.