Well, the reigning Champ can cross that one off his RPS bucket list.  He arrived just in time to play and proceeded to make quick work of several highly regarded players (including Bront Jronsdstin, Loomer and Frankie 13) on his way to the finals.  Once there he took down Dre from 10th Street, a former member of the now disbanded Sallycats.  It was Dre from 10th Street’s first championship match and she may have been a little nervous.  It wasn’t a terribly close match, but it wasn’t blowout either.  Dre held her own against the Champ and many who witnessed her performance until the finals fully expect to see her back in the finals soon.

Just before that, Paper Tiger learned that he had won the Street RPS tourney as well.  So it was a pretty dominating night of RPS for Paper Tiger, the likes of which we hadn’t seen since the first tournament of the season.  The money was pretty evenly distributed and the Champ beat everyone with $93.  Jayne Doe came closest with $73.

So the Champ got 10 points on the night, which he doesn’t really need since he’s going to be the #1 seed this year anyway.  It does get him a bit closer to the points leader on the season (that’s Dick Nasty).

It was the first appearance in a final match for 127 Hours, who is currently in the lead for Rookie of the Year honors.  But this was not the first finals this season for Rock Hard, who won at Frank’s in week 1 and lost in the finals just the night before at El Bar vs Speedwagoner One Armed Scissor.

The final match did not disappoint.  Rock Hard jumped out to a quick 2 match to 0 lead, but 127 Hours stopped the bleeding long enough to require Rock Hard go on to a 5th and final set.  That one started with a quick point for Rock Hard and just when everyone thought 127 Hours was going to tie it up…she didn’t.  Rock Hard won a hard fought match and got his 2nd win at Dirty Frank’s this year.  Rock Hard has played 5 times this year and has made the finals in 3 of them.  Not only that, but the Blackout Motherf*ckers have won 3 out of 5 at Dirty Franks and it would have been 4 out of 5 if Frankie 13 could have finished off Paper Chase a few weeks ago.

Sir Faust (at left, wearing hat) was the best dressed guy in the house and his sharp dressed man-ness must have really distracted all the people who played him at Street RPS (dOGulas included) because he won by a lot.

This is how it seems to be going: Blackouts win tournament, Speedwagon wins Street.  Speedwagon wins tournament, Blackouts win street.  It’s keeping the team points race interesting towards the end of the season, which isn’t really something that has been said since team points became a thing back in 2008.

This one had the same outcome as the last time, as Frankie 13 took down Mr. Nasty in a pretty quick Championship match by a count of 3 matches to 1.  It looked like Mr. Perfect Attendance was going to make a game out of it at the end, but Frankie 13 held firm to his strategy and got his 2nd win of the season.  It would have been his 3rd of the year if he hadn’t fallen victim to birthday girl Paper Chase last week.

Along the way last night the Dirty Dozen picked up a bunch of new players, B-Pac’s tie was nearly retired (if only Hambone BSN had brought it), and first time player Holy Diver won the best rookie of the night award, an award which doesn’t really exist.  But he did come ready to play some serious RPS.

Oh also, Dirty Dozen member Gingerly, appearing in his 2nd tournament ever, really doesn’t care for Dick Nasty and let that be known.  He is the leader in total points so haters gonna hate, I suppose.

Also like in week 7 of last year, Gingerly’s public enemy #1 got the street prize for the night.  He turned in a lot of fake dollars and The Lambshank Redemption gets a mention here for placing 2nd with not quite as many fake dollars.  I’m guessing this won’t be the last time either of those players in this space during the 2012 season.

But on this RPS double birthday (the ref was presented with a special ice cream sundae he couldn’t eat by the PBRPRPSCLCS Players Association Leadership Committee before the tournament began) that elusive birthday championship steer was finally lassoed by none other than Paper Chase of the Dirty Dozen (at left)!  Paper Chase has played every now and then ever since the famous Atlantis to Dirty Franks mid-season migration of 2007, but had never won a championship before.  She came up against Frankie 13, who was playing really well all night and was considered a heavy favorite.  Frankie 13 took the lead quickly and was poised to spoil Paper Chase’s special day, but Paper Chase turned on the birthday RPS magic and won a come-from-behind Championship that came down to the last throw in the 5th set.  This loss did not seem to sit particularly well with Frankie 13, even though he had the built-in excuse that he let her win because it was her birthday.

Rookie player The Girl with the Paper Tattoo (at left, with special background appearance by PYT’s Tommy Up) turned up at Franks and joined up with the Heart Cutters, who are currently 3rd in team points and could use the assistance.  Even though TGWTPT (nice acronym!) is a rookie, she was hustlin’ on the street like an old pro.  From an impartial standpoint, Hambone RN seemed especially upset about losing all his fake money to her.  Anyway, she turned in the most with 104.  Von Damonator was a very distance 2nd at 40.  She got an extra 2 points, which could come in helpful since the 2012 Rookie of the Year field is wide open right now.

So anyway, he came up on the finals by defeating Sally Scissors of the Dirty Franks team The Dirty Dozen and then faced the Coach of the team, Von Damonator.  Now Von Damonator has never won on his home turf (he’s had his chances), so he really wanted this one.  But Hambone RN drew first blood, and then held off a late rally by Von Damonator to win his first tournament of the season.  Hambone RN is currently at a win percentage over 80%, which is outstanding.

As far as Street RPS goes, B-Pac Presents RPS Speedwagon’s newest member, 127 Hours (who may or may not have taken the place of B-Pac himself), won that portion of the tournament on her 1st in-season tournament ever.  She won it over Jayne Doe by a score of 115-94.    Not a bad start towards her quest to win 2012 PBRPRPSCLCS Rookie of the Year.  That made it a clean sweep on the night for B-Pac Presents RPS Speedwagon, who are currently only 9 points behind the Blackout Motherfuc*ers for the lead in team points.

But Rock Hard has been training in Philly, and everyone knows that Philly is better at RPS than the Swedes.  So it came as no surprise that Rock Hard came away with a quick victory in the Championship match.  It was his first regular season victory (he did win an off season tournament against a player who had very much enjoyed her Pabst Blue Ribbon that evening).  It would have been Swede-Heart’s first ever victory, but she does look like a muchmore confident player than when she left, so it shouldn’t be too long until she gets there.

And for the first time this season (out of two nights) Mr. Street RPS from 2011, Dick Nasty, won the fake money round.  He beat out Von Damonator by just $7.  He got an extra two points, which gets him up to #3 in the standings so far, behind C. Urbanus and Rock Hard.  That also goes toward the total team points for the team now called B-Pac presents RPS Speedwagon.org.  The PBRPRPSCLCS is hoping B-Pac returns very soon so it can just go back to RPS Speedwagon.

Oh, also there’s another new team.  Swede-Heart and Sweetji broke off from the Blackout Motherfuc*ers and formed the Heart Cutters.  They’re looking for recruits, so any free agent players interested – you know who to talk to.

It was a fun and a little bit sad night of RPS, as it marked the final tournament for veteran B-Pac (who lost in the 1st round), until he decides that living in the middle of New York state is no good and returns to Philadelphia.  But that’s probably still a way off.  Until then, the Philly RPS scene will miss him.

The finals on the night ended up as a match between Hand Turkey and rookie player Parchment Funkadelic (at left, enjoying delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon).  It was a fine match, full of many surprises (rocks still tie!) but Parchment Funkadelic went all Dr. Funkenstein on Hand Turkey and finally tore the roof off the match and returned to Chocolate City with a victory.  Well done, Parchment Funkadelic! (not so well done, Hand Turkey!)

PJ Rhymeswithsausage (at right, enjoying delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon) showed up and used his gift certificate from September, and left with a new gift certificate in hand.  He won the street RPS tourney once again and there really isn’t much more to say because that happens fairly frequently.

The Ultimate Bad Guy was using a new strategy that she told the ref about, but player-referee confidentiality doesn’t allow for this information to be disclosed publicly.  Anyway, whatever the strategy was it worked really good, since she defeated Neutral Finger and took home the title for the first time in her RPS career.

For definitely not the first time in his RPS career (A few years ago he won every street RPS at every off-season tourney) PJ Rhymeswithsausage won the street RPS portion of the tournament, edging out Von Damonator 88-81 to add to his stack of unused street RPS gift certificates.

Anyway, Dr. Dre won in the finals against Dirty Dozen coach Von Damonator.  VD has, of course, played in almost every Rock Paper Scissors Tournament at Dirty Franks since 2007 and had yet to win one on his home turf.  But it wasn’t to be as a “heartbroken” Von Damonator threw a Scissor that he claimed later he knew not to throw but couldn’t help himself.

After her victory, Dr. Dre quickly answered some questions while the whole neighborhood watched about cabby, TV’s & sh*t, that box in your room En Vogue, and a variety of other subjects from RPS beat reporters Duck Mouth and Bootney Lee Farnsworth.  Post-interview she received her prize – a $20 gift certificate to  The Compton Swap Meet Dirty Franks!

And it seems that RPS wonders will never cease!  Paper Tiger came up on loot and broke an almost full 6 season Street RPS cold Street and won that for the first time ever.  He racked up a mighty $181, which defeated The One Armed Scissor by a little over 100.  This initial win comes at a good time for the Paper Tiger as he still trails Dick Nasty in total points by 14 with two games to go.  In a week that isn’t typically kind to Paper Tiger (11, 24, 6, 6, 16 points the last five double points weeks) he’s placed 2nd and won street so far to give himself a chance.

Most (I said most – don’t yell at me) of the top scorers on the season were eliminated in round one to the noobies and that was a trend that would continue all night, right up until the finals between the aptly nicknamed George and Gabe.  They were, if not teammates, then at least part of some loose confederation of one-named people.  They weren’t the Real Name Brigade unless they sign up Bill, Pamela or Tommy, so stop saying that.  Anyway, the final match was a blowout and Gabe took it without much of a problem by a count of 3-0.  Also of note, I believe Gabe got Dick Nasty with his own psyche-out handshake after he beat him and Dick Nasty never saw it coming.

Phantom Fonzie’s Fanta Fountain had the most letters and syllables in his name and at the end of the night also had the most Street RPS money in his pocket by, like, a lot.  he won with a total of 230 fake bills which is a good good night on the street.  Phantom Fonzie’s Fanta Fountain then donned the mask you see in the picture, but I don’t think anyone would reconize him anyway (Hand Turkey can’t even figure it out!).  I’ve never seen the guy play before.

Some of the money had a little accident and was taken out of circulation, but that’s just what happens sometimes with Street RPS.