But in the meantime rest assured that people did win tournaments that did actually happen (it was Paper Tiger and The Ultimate Bad Guy) just as someone will probably win a tournament this coming Tuesday (10/18/11) at Mako’s Retired Surfers Bar and Grill (3rd and South).  Signup starts at 8 and competition will be around 8:45.  It’s usual off-season rules.  $3 entry fee.  Street winner gets a special prize (that means no one knows what that prize is yet).

Signups start at 8:30 and competition around 9:15.  $3 to play.

Anyway, Von Damonator (on right, celebrating the return of Dirty Dozen co-founder Twisted Scissors – last seen around here in August of 2007) made it to the finals, where he met up with maybe-she’s-part-of-David-Bowie’s-Package-and-maybe-she’s-not Squid, who psyched out her opponents all night by saying she just wanted to go home.  It was a pretty good match, but Von Damonator came out on top and that gave him a victory and 8 points towards his 2011 totals.  Von Damonator is in the lead for total points (that felt weird to type)!

And as far as Street RPS goes everyone should know that B-Pac The Neutral Swede (at right) almost always wins theses days.  He’s turning into a real PJ Rhymeswithsausage circa 2008-2009.  Although according to the sign he’s holding B-Pac the Neutral Swede loves people (specifically a few players who moved away), which is much different from Mr. Rhymeswithsausage’s style.

Registration starts at 8:30 PM and competition will start around 9:15.  $3 entry fee like usual.

It was a good final, and Panty Bandit almost came back to win just like in the semi-finals, but Sweetji took the winning cake - just like she did at the off-season tournament last March.  Sweetji is 2-0 in March and hasn’t recorded tournament a victory in any other month.  Too bad the World Championships are in the fall!  Anyway, the two Badass Mofos in the finals acted like The Legion of the Red Fist and split the prize equally, a move that the commissioner of the PBRPRPSCLCS has never been fond of (hence the quick exit from Legion of the Red Fist, despite their rather nice jackets and two world champions on the roster).

Frankie 13 (seen here in a pretty old file photo with wonderful Pabst Blue Ribbon) had already won the the Street RPS tournament (although he didn’t know that) but in the spirit of Rock Paper Scissors decided to play whoever else was at the top.  That guy was Dick Nasty and they decided that, in tribute to the dearly departed Minneapolis Roshambo Hustlers, to play first to win 10 throws.  It was a heck of a Full Hustle, and Frankie 13 won the prize he would have won anyway by a score of 10-9.

Start March off right with a little Rock Paper Scissors!  This tourney is one (but the best one) of several going away parties for BadAssMoFo’s member Swede-Heart (above, celebrating delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon I believe). She’s moving to Sweden (surprise!).

This is all happening March 1st on the 2nd floor of the Raven Lounge (1718 Sansom). Registration will start at 7 and competition will begin around 7:45. $3 to play. Gift certificate for the street RPS winner.

Perhaps not uncoincidentally, Stevie One-Der is a journalist during non-rps hours and had interviewed the PBRPRPSCLCS commissioner about RPS strategy just a few days before.  And with this guidance fresh in his mind and his notebook he immediately won a tournament.  Makes you think, right?

Silly Putty still had the chance to win something at Dirty Franks, as she was also required to play Dick Nasty for the Street Rock Paper Scissors Championship on the night after a very questionable delay in turning in her winnings.  But it just wasn’t her night as Mr. Nasty (at left, surrounded mostly by people who are not on his team) took her down in what is believed to have been a full-on Hustler Style match to claim street RPS victory.  Said a deflated Silly Putty after the match, in the direction of no one, “now I feel like a real Mr. Strawberry”.

Rock Hard (above, middle) from the Badass Motherf*ckers has had a pretty good off-season so far and it got a lot better after he won the first tournament of his career at Teri’s in September.  He won in the finals against Your Mom, who had the rookie jitters in the Championship round and gave up many, many points on technicality.  Probably the most in a championship round ever in the history of the world.  In Rock Hard’s defense, when there actually was a throw to win he did and the final match was a total blowout in his favor.   He was then surrounded by ladies (above, left and right) as most Rock Paper Scissors champions are after their victory.

Rock Hard was playing so well that he couldn’t confine his fineness to just the official arena of play.  He also won the Street RPS tourney on the night (for the 2nd month in a row!), defeating his closest competitor, PJ Rhymeswithsausage by a pretty decent amount.  Mr. Rhymeswithsausage offered to play for it, but Rock Hard played it smart – having learned a good leason from his August win over Bootylicious about knowing when to hold ‘em.