As far as Street Rock Paper Scissors went, Ziro finally made his way onto the web site after many, many failures to do so.  He’s wearing DoGulas’ glasses there (along with the rest of Team David Bowie’s Package that was in attendance)  in case you don’t recognize him from never seeing him on the site before.  He beat someone by a good amount who had less money – the official record would be clearer if the there wasn’t such a rush to get off the stage for the band.  Anyways, congrats to Ziro on a well fought Street victory and thanks to PJ Rhymeswithsausage and B-Pac for counting the Street bucks during the Championship match.

The PBRPRPSCLCS will finally return to Tritone (1508 South Street) in March for the first time since the end of the 2006 season.

This will be an early one and you’ll need to be there on time if you want to compete.  Registration starts at 7 PM and competition will start at 7:30.  There’s a band at 9:30, so the tournament has to be wrapped up around 9.  Registration is $3.

Come hungry for victory and food, as Tritone will offer not only Rock Paper Scissors but is one of the few RPS venues that has a full menu as well.  Then you can wash it down with a Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jim Beam.

Frankie Thirteen heads into this weekends Championship feeling pretty confident.  After taking the Street RPS title at Finn McCool’s, he followed it up with a victory at Tritone over the Cosmic Defender.  Despite The Cosmic Defender’s tactic of playing with a hand on his head, Frankie Thirteen stayed focused.

Third Place Finisher at the 2005 PBR RPS Keystone Classic Tim Riley (of the Dutch Army) took the Street RPS title on the night.  He and the rest of the Dutch Army left quickly before a picture could be taken.  Before leaving, the Dutch Army (the largest team in the City League) decided they had a war (although they said “work ” and “family stuff”) to fight somewhere else and will not be attending the PBRRPSCLCS Championship.  This prompted the Swiss Army to say that most of them were also going to give it a miss, because all they ever really want to do is beat their arch-nemis the Dutch Army. 

Despite the prescence of the Dutch Army, who fielded nine strong competitors on the night, Crystal Ball made the finals at Tritone for the third week in a row.  He has now become the first player in City League history to win a championship at the same venue two weeks in a row.  It was an all-Swiss Army Showdown in the finals as Crystal Ball defeated best of 1.  All this despite the fact that the Swiss Army numbered but 3 at Tritone on the night, proving that there is not always strength in numbers.

Speaking of the Dutch Army, happy birthday to the competitor known as Halen Katz who turned 23 today and celebrated by making it through to the third round.  While it wasn’t the championship that she was expecting, she said it was still “pretty ok”.  The referee promised that, as a birthday present, he will someday pronounce her name correctly.  Word on the street, or should I say rumor has it, is that the Dutch Army will be celebrating another birthday in RPS style on Monday at the Khyber.  This, of course, at the first event during double points week.

As far as street RPS goes, well respected competitor El Toro Papaya took that title on the night, as well as an extra two points towards his season totals.  When asked about his inspiration, he claimed that he thought a lot about Pabst Blue Ribbon, www.exprod.ca, www.theypf.com, as well as Sir Speedy Printing on North 8th Street (between Market and Arch).   

Crystal Ball won the rematch of last week’s Tritone Championship match, turning the table and defeating My Fingers Make Me Happy in a last throw of five match showdown.  Crystal Ball, when asked by the press on hand, predictably told them he can “see into the future” when asked about his strong performances the past two weeks.

Crystal Ball, of course, is a member of Philadelphia’s largest RPS team-The Swiss Army (below-with competitor Jon Mosca trying to pretend that he’s part of the Swiss Army).  The Swiss Army hadn’t rounded up all the troops since Finn McCool’s a few weeks back, but they promise to remain on the RPS battlefield for the last two weeks of the City League.  The Swiss Army also claim to be the best RPS team in Philadelphia, but the loose alliance of Paper Tiger, Dancing Marine and Female Ninja Whore have disputed this claim.

Finally, Dan Pike won the street RPS tournament on the night with a score of 26-22 against the closest competitor The Dirty Dirty (Swiss Army).  Dan Pike now claims that his best game is his street game.  But he’s going to play like he’s on the street all night on June 17th.

My Fingers Make Me Happy follow up her incredibly bold Finn McCool’s guarantee of a victory with an incredibly bold victory over Crystal Ball at Tritone.

Crystal Ball had her on the ropes, but threw a very late Scissors as he was nearing a victory in match #2 of the championship battle.  That proved to be the turning point of the night as My Fingers Make Me Happy won it easy from there on out.

On a side note, there was a very high number of stalemates on the night.  When reached by telephone to comment, retired former #1 ranked US player Master Roshambollah replied:  “You know the competition field is strong when you see that many stalemates occuring”.  The international RPS community is, from what we understand, concerned about the amount of Philadelphia RPS players making noise about taking home the International World Championship on September 30th in Toronto.  www.rpschamps.com for more details on that.

Female Ninja Whore emerged from the shadows of Titone with stealth and whori-ness to claim a victory last night after pulling off one of the greatest comebacks in one of the greatest matches ever seen this season Vs. My Fingers Make Me Happy in round 2.

She beat Fiber Glass Forest in the finals, who was so utterly devestated after losing, that the only way to console her was to promise to put her picture on the web site as well.  So here’s to 2nd place, FGF.

This one does have to start pretty much on schedule as there is other stuff happening there at 10 and we need the champ to be crowned before that time. 

Of course, don’t forget to order a special (PBR and jim beam).

The Paper Tiger, after watching his training partner The Dancing Marine take the title at Finn McCool’s on Tuesday, declared that “I will be the PBRPRPSCLCS Champion at Tritone tomorrow”.

The Paper Tiger, trademark cigarette in hand/mouth, made good on his word and defeated Univega (as well as everyone else he played) to claim the title.  The final match wasn’t all that thrilling, as Univega did not even win a match.  Total domination by the Paper Tiger.

The Paper Tiger has now attended 4 events and placed no worse than the final four at each. 

So watch out Philadelphia RPS players, there’s a tiger on the prowl.  You get what I mean.

Mr. Strawberry took no prisoners at Tritone last night.  The talented Mr. Strawberry provided what has been one of the most dominating and awe-inspiring victories of the season (if not ever).  The guy didn’t even lose a throw until the finals.  Paper Tiger did well to tie him up at one match apiece, but Mr. Strawberry later admitted that he was thinking about how he was missing Lost during that particular point of the final match.  Mr. Strawberry then regained his focus and returned to the Zone, winning it 3-1.

Once again, the crowd was so eager for more RPS action (and also the open mic guy cancelled) that there were two tournaments played back-to-back.  Although there were no points awarded for tournament #2, the competition field was intense and rookie Amybeth won herself a special (Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jim Beam) by defeating Sabinator! despite Sabinator!’s incessant trash talk.  Sabinator! did get a delicious, but lonely, PBR for his second-place finish.

Amybeth claims that she will be back again next week to win “the real deal”, to which Mr. Strawberry replied “bring it”.  This could be a great rivalry in the works.