It was a bit of a bumpy ride the week of the 2010 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship as far as Championship venues go, but the guys at Connie’s Ric Rac did the League right and everything was  ready to go by Championship Saturday (including new AC units!).

The Neutral Finger, Sweetji & Dick Nasty - 2010 Perect Attendance, Spirit Award & Perfect Attendance

Von Damonator Honors America, Connies Ric Rac, C. Urbanus and RPS

This unusually cool Championship night started off with The Neutral Finger & Dick Nasty being presented their Perfect Attendance awards (the 1st time in league history any player made it to every tournament) for 2010 and Sweetji was awarded her 2010 Spirit Award (all pictured above).  Sweetji would have had perfect attendance, but she fell off a roof late in the season – even with the hospital stay and making-it-hard-to-walk broken bones and needing crutches she only missed three tournaments.  Now that’s some spirit!  Then Von Damonator (left) kicked off the competition with style by playing the Star Spangled Banner on the accordian. 

Players seeded 1-17 received a bye in the opening round.  As pointed out by noted historian J. Martin Hill, no player that received a bye in the opening round has ever won the PBRPRPSCLCS Title.  Could this trend continue for a 5th straight year?

Season seedings led to this All-Package Opener, a competitor matchup not seen since playing in a different league at a horrible venue in the winter of 2006. Zombie Llama won that match as well.

Player seedings made for some interesting matchups, such as five-year veterans El Toro Papaya and the Fighting Mongooses going against each other and teammates PJ Rhymeswithsausage going up against each other in the long-awaited all-Package opening match with Zombie Llama coming out on top. 

In other round 1 action, the Real Name Brigade lose all their players who didn’t get a bye (same for two-person Sh*tcaked Toiletbowl); the Majestic 12 move 3 of 4 on to the next round; all three current or former Team Captains that are now a part of the Dirty Cut Posse (Von Damonator, Le Tigre, J, Martin Hill) are knocked out; Blacksmith’s Apron goes 3 for 3;  and 2008 Champion Mr. Is sees her chances for 2 wins in 3 years go in the recycle bin.

Complete 1st Round scorecard:

• #51 Billy Shears defeats #18 J. Martin Hill
• #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #19 Von Damonator
• #20 El Toro Papaya defeats #47 The Fighting Mongooses
• #21 Joe McB defeats #46 Le Tigre
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #22 PJ Rhymeswithsausage
• #23 Harper Lee defeats #43 Tommy
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #25 That’s What She Said
• #26 General Disarray defeats #41 I Am Not Afraid
• #27 Mendouca defeats #40 Danny Awesome!
• #28 Hand Turkey defeats #39 Schizofrenic C*ck Slapper
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #38 Donkey Show Deena
• #30 Scissors Blizzard defeats #37 Smashley
• #31 #3 defeats #36 Pamela
• #35 Grim Trigger defeats #32 Ohne Brunen
• #34 Panty Bandit defeats #33 2008 Champion Mr. Is

One year later and 2009 Champ Sexual Chutney still has Billy Shears number in the Round of 32.

The round of 32 means no more byes.  Things don’t go well for the top point scorers (all members of RPS Speedwagon) in 2010, as leader Sir Faust falls to his teammate Slanted Scissors and David Bowie’s Package members Zombie Llama and Baconshark defeat Dick Nasty and The Neutral Finger consecutively. 

Is this the last we'll see of The Majestic 12?

There were a couple rematches here from years past involving the Majestic 12.  Billy Shears came into 2009 as the #2 seed and got knocked off by #43 (and eventual Champ) Sexual Chutney in the round of 32.  This year the tables were turned as #51 Billy Shears had a chance to avenge his loss against the #1 seed.  Didn’t happen.  His teammate The Scissors Blizzard lost in the 2007 Championship Round of 32 to Frankie 13.  They met again this year in the round of 32, but three years later and it’s the same result.

The Round of 32 was not kind to The Badass Motherf*ckers, as they lost all but Sweetji in this round; Ziro of the Lone Wolves decided he should be ranked #9 instead of #10, jumped into that match and promptly lost to Jazz Handz; all members of RPS Speedwagon who didn’t score in the top 3 are all still alive; The Good the Bad and the Ugly suffer no losses; Blacksmith’s Apron, The Real Name Brigade, Monsters of Rock and Feed the Pony all have only one player remaining; Sh*tcaked Toiletbowl, The Majestic 12 and unaffiliated player Hand Turkey (perhaps the player most affected by Ziro’s gaffe) have all been eliminated.

Complete Round of 32 Scorecard:

• #1 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney defeats #51 Billy Shears
• #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #2 Sir Faust
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #3 Dick Nasty
• #42 2007 Baconshark defeats #4 The Neutral Finger
• #5 B-Pac defeats #35 Grim Trigger
• #6 Sweetji defeats #34 Panty Bandit
• #7 dOGulas defeats #31 #3
• #8 Frankie 13 defeats #30 Scissors Blizzard
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #10 Ziro
• #9 Paper Tiger defeats #28 Hand Turkey
• #11 Silly Putty defeats #27 Mendouca
• #26 General Disarray defeats #12 Rock Hard
• #23 Harper Lee defeats #13 Swede-Heart
• #14 Dr. Hambone defeats #21 Joe McB
• #20 El Toro Papaya Defeats #15 Enrico Pallatzo
• #16 Bill defeats #17 Tina the Boy

#23 Harper Lee upsets #9 Paper Tiger. That's just how the Final 16 went.

UPSET CITY!  In the Final 16 not one of the higher seeds win.  That’s nuts.

Complete Round of 16 Scorecard:

• #48 Slanted Scissors defeats #1 2009 Champion Sexual Chutney
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #5 B-Pac
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #6 Sweetji
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #7 dOGulas
• #26 General Disarray defeats #8 Frankie 13
• #23 Harper Lee defeats #9 Paper Tiger
• #20 El Toro Papaya defeats #11 Silly Putty
• #16 Bill defeats #14 Dr. Hambone

For the 2nd year in a row, pretzel loving Zombie Llama defeats El Toro Papaya in the Final 8.

Well, the Final 8 didn’t have 100% upsets like the Final 16 (just 75% upsets this time).  El Toro Papaya and Zombie Llama met up in the Final 8 for the 2nd year running and for the 2nd year running El Toro Papaya did not appear in the Final 4; Slanted Scissors has her run of taking down the remaining top seeds end at the hands of Bill from The Real Name Brigade; 2007 Champ Baconshark gets the closest to a two-time Champ anyone has since Johnny Goodtimes made the Final 4 in 2007 after defeating Harper Lee; and Jazz Handz is now the last hope for RPS Speedwagon at a title after she ends the dream of General Disarray and Blacksmith’s Apron.

Complete Final 8 Scorecard:

• #16 Bill defeats #48 Slanted Scissors
• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #20 El Toro Papaya
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #23 Harper Lee
• #29 Jazz Handz defeats #26 General Disarray

Baconshark defeats Jazz Hands advance to the first All-Package Final ever in League history.

Team David Bowie’s Package has been playing since the very first City League tournament in April of 2006 (and before that at the 2005 PBR RPS Keystone Classic).  All they’ve ever talked about was an All-Package Final.  Well, here it is 5 years and 173 tournaments later but it finally happened.  In the Final 4 Zombie Llama (who lost in the Final 4 in 2009) took out Bill and Baconshark made quick work of Jazz Handz. 

 Final 4 Results:

• #44 Zombie Llama defeats #16 Bill
• #42 2007 Champion Baconshark defeats #29 Jazz Handz

Bill claims 3rd Place in the name of The Real Name Brigade.

Before the Finals and the crowning of the Champion could happen, there were a few things to take care of. 

Well, this is a surprise. B-Pac wins the Street RPS competition (and the 50/50 for the 2nd consecutive year).

• Bill from the Real Name Brigade defeated Jazz Handz to claim the 3rd Place prize, guaranteeing there would be no ladies in the championship top prize photos.
• The Street Money had to be collected and counted.  This took a while, but the result was a familiar one.  B-Pac won it by a score of 259-232 over Dick Nasty.  Swede-Heart was a distant 3rd with 71.
• The 50/50 had winner had to be determined.  And B-Pac won that, too.  And it was the 2nd year in a row he won it.  At least it doesn’t seem as fixed as the year Zombie Llama administered and won it. 

So it was time to decide who the 2010 Champ would be.  Would Baconshark be the 1st repeat Champion in PBRPRPSCLCS history or would Zombie Llama claim the top prize for the first time in his career? 

Package on Package Papers in the Championship match

Things started out not-so-great for Zombie Llama, as Baconshark won the first two matches pretty easy (except for the test of wills that involved 8 straight throws of Rock on each side).  But to Zombie Llama’s credit, he could taste that Championship like it was a soft pretzel and then improbably came back to even it up at two matches to two matches.  At a fifth and final set Baconshark ran away with it, winning that set 2 throws to 0, claiming the 2nd PBRPRPSCLCS Title of his career and making it 3 PBRPRPSCLCS Championships in 5 tries for Team David Bowie’s Package (which would have happened no matter who won the final match)!

David Bowie's Package Rules for the third time in five years.

The rumor is true.  The 2010 Hat City RPS Tournament is going down in Orange, NJ on Saturday July 24th (and it starts early – 4 PM).  This tournament is Sanctioned by the World RPS Society, which means:

• the Champ will receive transportation to and from Toronto as well as lodging
• the Champ will be seeded into the top 64 at the World Championships (instead of starting in the round of 512 – this is a big difference)

There will also be a $500 cash prize for the winner, so to put it as simply as possible: this is a really good deal for the winner of this tournament and you should all play.

You can register here and you even save $5 if you register early.

Many of you may be wondering what the difference between a Sanctioned and Endorsed (such as the PBRPRPSCLCS) event is.  It’s pretty huge.  If you win a Sanctioned event, in addition to the prize money, the winner will be seeded into the top 64 at the World Championship in Toronto.  If you were to receive this advanced seeding, then in order to become the World Champion of Rock Paper Scissors you would need to win only 6 matches (same as Baconshark at the 2010 City League Championship) instead of the 9 that all non-seeded players will have to win to claim the title.

Rumor has it you’ll also see some familiar refs if this rumor is indeed true.  More on this news as it comes.

Give it a try and then go out and pick up the new copy of Philadelphia Weekly that just hit the stands (the free stands, that is) today.

The opening reception is tonight from 7-10, so stop by and check it out.  You may see a few familiar faces there (all the PBRPRPSCLCS regular season refs will be on hand at some point) and some pretty good art.

The good news is that you can play Rock Paper Scissors this summer in Philadelphia.  The Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League holds tournaments once a month during the off-season to keep some players in shape for the next season, and to help certain players get ready for the Yahoo! Rock Paper Scissors World Championship in Toronto in the fall. 

So check this site periodically for the when and the where of the off-season tournaments, as well as all of the other Philly RPS news and notes that’s fit to print.

You can check out his Flickr set of the event right here.  There’s only 447 pictures, so it shouldn’t decrease your productivity today much at all.  I also hear there will be captions added in the near future.

Bill from The Real Name Brigade took the 3rd place prize over Jazz Handz, and B-Pac (surprise, surprise) took the Street RPS win on the night.  He also won the 50/50 for the 2nd year in a row.

More detailed updates coming in the near future.

Dear Philadelphia RPS Professional:

Congratulations on the completion of a season well played (most of you). This Saturday will be the 2010 Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship. By virtue of your strong play (or the ineffective play of your opponents) throughout the season, you are invited to compete for the title and $1000 grand prize. Please reply to urbanus@rpscityleague.com indicating if you plan to accept this invitation.

Details are as follows:

The Championship will be at Connie’s Ric Rac located at 1132 South 9th (between Washington and Ellsworth). Connie’s does not have a liquor license, so there will be a $10 entry fee, but this entry fee includes an open bar serving Pabst Blue Ribbon and Jim Beam throughout the night. Make sure you bring your ID. If you do not you will not be allowed to enter the building. There will also be some food provided while it lasts.

Registration will begin at 8:00 PM. PBRPRPSCLCS officials will be on-site as early as 7:30 PM if you would like to arrive pre-registration. Competition for the title will begin at approximately 9:15. Seedings need to be arranged so it is important that you arrive in a timely manner – if you run into any issues that will cause a late arrival, call the PBRPRPSCLCS hotline at 732.266.7546 to make sure you do not get shut out from the Championship competition.

In the event there are byes in the first round, they will be awarded based on season point totals. Players with better “Power Rankings” (i.e. same points in fewer events) are seeded above those with the same amount of points. The round of 64 and 32 will be judged by two guest referees. Make sure your primes are in synch and your throws are solid. Some referees are much tougher on these issues than you are used to. This is a Championship event, so there is no reason this should be a problem. Do not argue with the referees. THEIR RULING IS FINAL.

The grand prize is $1000. The runner-up will take home $250. Third place is $50. There will also be a street RPS prize of $100.

Spectators are allowed, but as there is limited space as well as limited booze, please don’t go crazy inviting others to attend. Any spectators will be eligible to compete for the Street RPS prize. Street RPS will function the same as it does during in-season events. Spectators who did play this season (the door man will have a list) are $10 but spectators who did not play at all are $20.

Thanks to you all for a memorable season, and I look forward to seeing you Saturday and the crowning of the 2010 City League Champion.

C. Urbanus

Sweetji made it up the stairs on her crutches and was rewarded with a Street RPS victory using her “no, you come to me” strategy.  She won 125-103 against the Neutral Finger.  If The Neutral Finger has won, it would have forced a playoff match for the Rookie of the Year award, which would have been exciting.